Dear Daughter,


Dear Daughter,

Dear Daughter,

It is impossible to predict circumstances or situations that might befall us.  You did not choose the life that was given you.  I did not choose to be motherless, just as you had no choice in being without a grandmother.

I feel it sometimes when I recall my own Grandma.  She taught me to sew and fixed me old-fashioned hot cakes in a cast iron skillet.  When I spent the night with her, she would tuck me in, piling home-made quilts on top before telling me she loved me.

I hear it in your voice when you say we spoil our grandkids by giving them too much or catering to their wishes.  I forget that you didn’t have that.  You didn’t have a grandmother’s love.  You may not know that it is a grandmother’s privilege to give this unconditional outpouring to her grandchildren.  I have heard it said that a grandmother is like an angel who takes you under her wing, she prayers and watches over you and she would give you anything.

Just as I cannot know what my relationship would have been with my mother, I cannot know how she would have been as a grandmother to you.  I cannot predict how the past might have been.  I cannot describe what never was.  But, I am sorry you didn’t have a grandmother.  I’m sad you missed that bond as you grew up.  I would give anything to have her here for you as well as myself.

It seems unbelievably unfair that we have had to navigate life without a mother and a grandmother, but, we have done just that.  Perhaps, in a quiet moment, we can reflect on our depth and our capacity to love even though our guide was not able to be with us.  Somehow, we learned to be in this world while receiving our direction from above.
Christopher Morley said, “It is as grandmothers, that our mothers come into the fullness of their grace.”   As I am coming into the fullness of my grace, I wish for you to feel your grandmother’s love through me.  When you see my interactions with the grandchildren, stop and feel the love for yourself.  Whatever I do, say, feel and express to them…..take it into your heart.  Let the little child within you be at peace, and as you do this, feel your grandmother’s love through me.  The healing balm of her love transcends time and space, we have only to believe…..and I do.
Love always

What Happens at Nannie and Papa’s



I wasn’t born knowing how to be a grandmother.  My becoming “Nannie” has been a process that has evolved and changed through the years.  My husband, on the other hand, is a natural.  He has no boundaries or limits as to what he will do, say, give or spend on our grandchildren.  Most of the time I am the voice of reason.(aka: stick in the mud.)  Warning of danger, potential tummy upsets or Star Wars sensory overload.  But one thing is for sure, our love of our grandkids is honest, sincere and forever……to the moon and back!

When you are at Nannie and Papa’s you might have M&M’s as your breakfast dessert.  We have an M&M dispenser that each child thinks we bought just for them.  “May I have some of my M&M’s?” they ask.

At Nannie and Papa’s you are almost always guaranteed a trip to Academy.  New shoes? Check.  You want to sleep in a tent in the back yard?  Check.  You want a tricycle?  Done.  You just want to look around?  We’re on the way.

At Nannie and Papa’s we will feed you what you say you will eat, not necessarily what your parents said you would.  For the boys, it almost always involves something with tater tots and for our sweet girl, it could be avocado.  You are certain to have a yummy meal with dessert included.

While attending Camp Nannie and Papa’s in the summer, you will most likely swim everyday.  Quite possibly there is a trip to Academy involved before hand for water shoes or a high-powered water gun.

It is a given that I will take a million pictures.  I try to capture each child’s essence and document our outings.  One last thing we try to do at the end of a visit is measure and mark their height on the inside of the hall closet door. Each marking is a gentle reminder that the time goes too quickly and these precious souls are growing and changing right before our eyes.

While it is mostly true that what happens at Nannie and Papa’s stays at Nannie and Papa’s….what does go with them, we hope, is the deep knowledge that they are loved and important and valued.  We know we are blessed to have four wonderful daughters and these beautiful grandchildren.  Our hearts absolutely overflow with gratitude and pride to be their Nannie and Papa.

What happens at Nannie and Papa’s?  Love.  Pure love.