Written by Nancy Malcolm
“Mama?”
“Mama?”
I heard it from underneath my hazy blanket of sleep.
“Mama? Are you asleep?” Her drowsy breath tickled my face which was mashed softly between the mattress and pillow. My sheet was tucked up around my chin, while one foot hung uncovered. Nothing registered except my name. I knew my name was being whispered.
“Mama,” she uttered softly and then touched my left eyelid to open it. “Can I get in bed with you?”
Of all the lovely names whispered in the night, there can be no sweeter name than ‘mama.’ There is no other whisper so quiet yet still heard clearly, light-years away. There is no other utterance that can bring instant tears to an eye or cause a heart to fill with warmth.
My mother has been gone most of my life. I don’t remember calling her name or hearing her voice, but I have had days and even nights when I have felt her presence.
Years ago, I took a new job in a big city, a few miles from the small town where I had been living. It was after a divorce and I was tender and frightened to venture out amongst the traffic and spaghetti maze of highway. The first morning as I drove to my new job, right before the sun awoke, I found myself stuck in commuter chaos. It felt as if everyone knew where they were going and how to navigate driver rules and courtesies. Everyone but me.
Cars were weaving in and out in stop and go fashion. Taillights tapped. Horns honked and I heard a faint siren from behind, which direction it was going, I could not tell. Tears stung my eyes and I sucked in a long, shaky breath and whispered to myself, “Get it together, girl.” I had a death grip on the steering wheel at ten and two, so I moved my right hand to the gear shift to make my knuckles relax. Out of nowhere, I whispered again, “Mama. Mama, I need you.” In an instant, I felt a hand squeeze my hand atop of the gear shift. The warmth of her hand calmed my nerves and gave me the strength to steady the wheel. I let out a long, heavy breath and for the first time in days, I felt safe. For the rest of my drive and every day thereafter, I felt her hand until finally, I regained my confidence.
My whisper of “Mama” brought her to me just as my daughter’s soft voice caused me to throw open the covers and snuggle her in close to my heart. Years have passed, and time has silenced these whispers, but I have not forgotten the feeling of either one. I heard the whispers through my heart and my mama did too. Our names were whispered in love and softly engraved on our souls forever.
Whisper My Name
I heard a freight train out across the way
I heard a woman sing Amazing Grace
I heard a night bird call to its mate
When I heard you whisper my name
I heard freedom break its chain
I heard a heartbeat where once on sound remained
I heard angels rise and praise
When I heard you whisper my name
I heard music bring a heart of stone to tears
I heard peace ring like an anthem through the years
And I heard hatred fall from grace
When I heard you whisper my name
Beating softly against the waves
Fell a sound of an early morning rain
And though the lighting and thunder came
I still heard you whisper my name
I heard music bring a heart of stone to tears
I heard peace ring like an anthem through the years
And I heard hatred fall from grace
When I heard you whisper my name
And I heard angels rise and praise
When I heard you whisper my name
soulspeak2016 