It is impossible to predict circumstances or situations that might befall us. You did not choose the life that was given you. I did not choose to be motherless, just as you had no choice in being without a grandmother.
I feel it sometimes when I recall my own Grandma. She taught me to sew and fixed me old-fashioned hot cakes in a cast iron skillet. When I spent the night with her, she would tuck me in, piling home-made quilts on top before telling me she loved me.
I hear it in your voice when you say we spoil our grandkids by giving them too much or catering to their wishes. I forget that you didn’t have that. You didn’t have a grandmother’s love. You may not know that it is a grandmother’s privilege to give this unconditional outpouring to her grandchildren. I have heard it said that a grandmother is like an angel who takes you under her wing, she prayers and watches over you and she would give you anything.
Just as I cannot know what my relationship would have been with my mother, I cannot know how she would have been as a grandmother to you. I cannot predict how the past might have been. I cannot describe what never was. But, I am sorry you didn’t have a grandmother. I’m sad you missed that bond as you grew up. I would give anything to have her here for you as well as myself.
It seems unbelievably unfair that we have had to navigate life without a mother and a grandmother, but, we have done just that. Perhaps, in a quiet moment, we can reflect on our depth and our capacity to love even though our guide was not able to be with us. Somehow, we learned to be in this world while receiving our direction from above.
Christopher Morley said, “It is as grandmothers, that our mothers come into the fullness of their grace.” As I am coming into the fullness of my grace, I wish for you to feel your grandmother’s love through me. When you see my interactions with the grandchildren, stop and feel the love for yourself. Whatever I do, say, feel and express to them…..take it into your heart. Let the little child within you be at peace, and as you do this, feel your grandmother’s love through me. The healing balm of her love transcends time and space, we have only to believe…..and I do.